Hayden Childs Recaps Avatar: The Last Airbender

Sokka’s right, of course. As a general principle, it is wrong to steal.  But Katara is also somewhat right. While it’s wrong to steal, it’s hardly the stuff of ethical quandaries to steal from thieving pirates, especially when you’re on a mission to save the world. On the other hand, Sokka is right that Katara is also trying to help herself, jealous as she is of Aang’s natural ability to pick up waterbending (I’m assuming that, in addition to being a naturally gifted bender [pause for British readers to chuckle], waterbending is near enough to airbending that it should come easy to Aang).

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Five Killer Robot Movies You Should Watch Instead of Transformers 3

by Scott Von Doviak

So you’ve got a hankering to watch evil robots causing mayhem this weekend, but you refuse to see Transformers 3 because you don’t want to put any more money in Michael Bay’s pocket? We totally understand. Even the slim chance that Bay’s latest might feature the welcome sight of Shia LaBeouf being crushed by a Decepticon isn’t enough to get us into the theaters. Which is why we’re countering with these five alternative sources of cybernetic carnage, all of which can be enjoyed in the comfort of your own home.

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You Think You’re So Smart: Culture At Bay

by Leonard Pierce

So there’s this:

And there’s nothing inherently wrong with the argument that big dumb summer blockbusters should be held to different critical standards than art films.  The thing is, though, the video short-circuits that argument, calling you a snobby effete hipster jackoff with a funny haircut for daring to equivocate that different types of art forms cannot be judged by the same set of critical rules. Check out the sniveling New York faggot-type who cringes that ballets, operas and Michael Bay movies aren’t really the same thing: I hope someone shoves THAT guy into a garbage can, right?

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Scott Von Doviak Recaps Outcasts: Episode Two

Greetings, Outcasters. As Todd warned you in his review of the series premiere last week, I’m here to take you the rest of the way through this (apparently one and only) season.  Before we get started with the imaginatively titled “Episode Two,” I should probably state for the record that I liked the first episode a bit more than Todd did. I thought it did a fairly elegant job of setting up a world and its conflicts in 60 minutes or less, although I do agree that it was more than a little Lost-esque in the way it withheld information from us.

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Five Things I Learned Watching Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop

by Andrew Osborne

1.  CONAN O’BRIEN CAN’T STOP…WHINING

Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop is a documentary (in limited release today) about The Legally Prohibited From Being Funny On Television Tour, the musical road show that kept Team Coco occupied in the months between leaving The Tonight Show and finding a new home on basic cable.  And the wounds suffered by O’Brien and his staff in their skirmish with NBC are still very fresh as the film begins.  Yet some may have trouble sympathizing with O’Brien’s onscreen bouts of self-pity, especially given the eight-figure severance package he received as compensation for the damage inflicted on his career (and ego).  Not only that, but looking back on the controversy now, it’s hard to argue with the facts that arch-rival Jay Leno’s ratings were simply better and O’Brien’s ouster from the network was essentially self-inflicted.  As Jerry Seinfeld notes in The War For Late Night (Bill Carter’s juicy insider chronicle of the kerfuffle), “…your show isn’t working—how about a new idea? [...] All of this ‘I won’t sit by and watch the institution damaged.’ What institution?  I thought he should just say, ‘Yeah, let me go at midnight.’”

Nick Schager Reviews Bad Teacher

Despite aping its title in order to suggest quality by association, Bad Teacher has nothing in common with Bad Santa—including, alas, a genuinely nasty sense of humor. The titular monster is Elizabeth (Cameron Diaz), a retiring seventh-grade teacher forced to return to her hated profession when her wealthy fiancé learns that she’s a ruthless gold-digger and breaks off their engagement. With husband prospects slim, Elizabeth decides that the way to nab a man—in particular, rich new substitute teacher Scott (Justin Timberlake)—is with gigantic breast implants.

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Five Films That Prove Cameron Diaz Can Act

by Andrew Osborne

In There’s Something About Mary, Cameron Diaz portrayed the Farrelly Brothers’ fantasy ideal of the perfect woman:  hot, goofy and non-threatening – an approachably attainable sex symbol for the Age of Geeks.  Since then, Diaz has worked her standard bubbly schtick often enough to be parodied by Sofia Coppola in Lost In Translation via Anna Faris (who admittedly felt bad about it later).

Scott Von Doviak Launches Rewatchable!

Welcome to Rewatchable, my attempt at balancing all the negativity I’ve brought into the world through my Unwatchable project. While Unwatchable is a grim chronicle of my harrowing journey through the IMDb Bottom 100, Rewatchable will catalogue the 100 movies I can watch over and over again, in no particular order. This isn’t my list of the 100 greatest films ever made, or even my 100 favorite films (since I’m sure there are a few on that list that I wouldn’t want to revisit often, for one reason or another) – it’s more of a desert island list. If I somehow wound up alone on an island with a portable DVD player, an infinite supply of batteries, and 100 DVDs…well, these would be the ones.

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Lichman and Rizov “Live” at Grassroots Tavern: Season 6, Episode 2: “The Septien Podcast”

Hello Demons!

Our first of order of business—can you find the moment where I flubbed the original recording and had to do a hard audio edit? If you can, the winner gets to buy me a Brooklyn Lager at Grassroots during Happy Hour!

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Four Colors to Infinity: “Roswell, Texas”

by Leonard Pierce

Nobody has suffered today like I have suffered today, unless they also read the entirety of the shitty Libertarian webcomic Roswell, Texas by L. Neil Smith. Allow me to share with you some of its insouciant crappiness in the form of a list.

1. The comic is set in an alternate reality in which the Texans won at the Alamo and established a Libertarian-style Republic of Texas that lasts until the present day (or, at least, until the time at which the story is set, in 1964). This gives Smith an opportunity to show off his knowledge of history, which is unfortunate, because he hasn’t any. Historical insight is either misapplied or missing.

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