Nick Schager Reviews Jonah Hex

Magic balls are the lynchpin of Jonah Hex‘s finale. Specifically, big black explosive balls which are detonated by small orange glowy balls. Where did these balls come from? How do they interact with each other? And from what are they constructed? Feel free to make up your own explanations since none are proffered by Jimmy Hayward’s film (maybe they’re demonic vessels containing the angry souls of fallen soldiers! Or they’re containers filled with that most destructively rancid of liquids: Sunny D!). Regardless of the surrounding story’s supernatural elements, this ball-on-ball WMD (laughably referred to as simply the “super weapon”) is an inexplicable mystery that makes no sense from any vantage point, especially given that it exists in 1876, and can only be utilized via a gargantuan ship-mounted six-shooter cannon that facial-hairy Confederate “terrorista” Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich) seems to have constructed in approximately two days time. And from plans originally drawn up by Eli Whitney. I am not making this up.

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