Nick Schager Reviews Battleship

What’s most insulting about Battleship isn’t its awfulness, which was practically preordained by its very premise, but that everyone involved knew it was a terrible concept from the get-go, and yet nonetheless threw time, toil, and money at the project with a gusto almost as unchecked as its story’s pilfering of other blockbusters’ ingredients. Shamelessly mimicking Michael Bay’s larger-than-life dialogue, sweeping cinematography, cornball romance, and military fetishism, Peter Berg delivers the bastard child of Pearl HarborArmageddon, and Transformers with his adaptation of Hasbro’s board game, which amounted to little more than a guessing game requiring players to surmise the location of (thereby sinking) opposing players’ ship-shaped pieces.

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