by Andrew Osborne
Okay…My wife & I are fortifying ourselves with pizza & onion rings…a vapid model’s being vapid on E! It’s #Oscar2016 time!
#RedCarpet greatest hits…Michelle Williams, Halle Berry, and that backless dress that made straight guys momentarily hot for Hilary Swank.
I want to know a LOT more about the mysterious Asian correspondent next to Ryan.
Okay, Ross Matthews…so we’re going with “Shersha” as the correct pronunciation of Saoirse? Done.
The Big Short: Adam McKay being interviewed by Ryan Seacrest.
Tonight, Mindy Kaling is wearing “I Don’t Give A Shit.”
Alicia Vikander, buttered by Louis Vuitton.
I want to go disco dancing with Saoirse RIGHT NOW!
Wait…why is Rooney Mara wearing something attractive?
#Oscars “OOOOOOOH NOOOOO!!!” – My wife & I, simultaneously gasping at Heidi Klum’s drunk mother-of-the-bride dress.
John Legend’s wife looks like a turkey leg.
I hope Brie Larson wins her dance recital!
I wish Selma Blair was playing Kris Jenner in the E! red carpet coverage.
Tina Fey, hellz yeah!
Where can I get the official Cate Blanchett cat toy?
Jacob Tremblay’s got a MILF!
Based on Leo’s red carpet interview just now, I think maybe he thinks he’s being euthanized tonight.
Lady Gaga’s outfit is like the St. Louis Arch of camel toe.
Whoopi Goldberg has one of those Lena Dunham skin disease tattoos.
Gee…I wonder what Chris Rock’s gonna joke about tonight? #OscarsSoWhite
Remember when the media thought Beyonce’s halftime show was controversial?
Mmm…I loves me a political-y!
Leslie Jones & Tracy Morgan FTW!
Sam Smith’s song sounds like the song that killed the tomatoes in Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.
J-J-Leigh: Best…#Oscar clip…ever!
Steve Carell looks like an evil magician, in the good way.
Mad Max Three-Peat!
MAX!!! MAX!!! MAX!!!
I wanna party with that Mad Max sound guy!
Girl Scout Cookies unite us all.
Again with Lou Gosset? WHY ALL THE LOU GOSSET???
Can any lip readers tell me what they just bleeped Kevin Hart saying?
If only 50 Shades of Grey had been as interesting as this production number…
Louis CK just became the patron saint of documentary shorts.
Spike Lee & Debbie Reynolds, together at last!
Well…Gaga’s song was better than her Bowie tribute, at least.
Seriously? They couldn’t have seated Ennio a LITTLE closer to the stage?
Sam Smith wins Best Song! Cut to…Gaga, quietly seething.
“Fight the Power” as the end credits music? ALMOST as cool as “Burn Hollywood Burn!” #OscarsSoWhite